Redemption
by Emma121
Summary: What happens when Terra is forced to reconnect with the Titans? Post Things Change Rated M for language and and adult themes. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!


Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Teen TItans...

Tears plopped onto her bead spread as she hugged her knees to her chest. Terra hated crying. She hated how she couldn't make that stupid feeling of guilt go away. She'd already done her time. Faced the music. Accepted her punishment. She shouldn't still be crying over what happened with the Titans. She spent god-knows-how long trapped in stone, so why couldn't she let it go?

She knew reconnecting with them was _not _the way to go. She could never forgive herself if she brought more trouble into their lives, especially Beast Boy's. But she was no closer now.

'_Terra. Stop being so stupid. They don't want to see you. You betrayed them. They hate you now. Why would he ever want to talk to you again? He's probably worked things out with Raven by now, anyway.' _she told herself.

She thought about Raven. Raven would want to see her least of all. She had suspected the truth about Terra from the get go. She tried to convince the other Titans too. Terra had tried to act like Raven was just being a bitch, but she was really just treating her the way she deserved.

_'Pull yourself together. You have to meet Beast Boy in half an hour.'_ She had agreed to have pizza with the little green changeling today. Of course she wouldn't be joining him as Terra. She would insist on not remembering anything about her former life, as she had been doing for months. It was better that way. Sure, he'd been sad at first, but this was the best way to protect him and the rest of the team.

She stood up and wiped her eyes. She walked to her bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"How did things get so messed up?" she asked aloud. "Well Terra, it might have started when you decided to lie to your new teammates, continued when you betrayed them, and then finished off when you burned every bridge possible," she went ahead and answered. "Don't forget how you're totally making it better by continuing to lie to the one guy who still wants to be your friend." Terra started to wonder if talking to herself like this meant she was crazy. Hell, after all that'd happened, she wouldn't be surprised if she were.

Dismissing the question of her sanity, she walked out of the bathroom and found her jeans and t-shirt. As she slipped on her clothes she took note of all the scars she'd received while she was training with Slade. It was probably time she came up with an excuse for those. Beast Boy was bound to notice eventually.

"Maybe I was in a car accident..." she once again said out loud. She silently thanked the heavens she didn't live with anyone. A roommate would certainly assume she was insane.

She pulled on her gray sneakers and threw herself back on her bed. She didn't know if she could handle hanging out with him today. Maybe she could put it off until tomorrow. But she'd already rescheduled this lunch three times. Or she could do the opposite and tell him the truth. But where would that get her? Right back where she started? She'd be right back without much control over her life, having to face a team that distrusted, even hated, her, and Terra would still feel alone.

No. Truth was not an option. She could never go back to who she was. She refused to use her powers as often as she could, hoping they would just go away. They only caused her pain now, having become nothing but awful reminders of all the horrible things she'd done.

She sighed and looked at the clock. She was already a little late. Terra had never been very good about being on time, and today was no exception. She lazily shoved her phone into her pocket and made sure to shut her closet door. Her uniform from her Titans days still hung front and center. She had tried to pack it away a few times, but it felt wrong. She could lie to Beast Boy, Slade, and the rest of Jump, but she couldn't lie to herself.

She'd already given lying to herself a considerable shot. She tried to repress every part of her former life, but to no avail. The guilt was something she found she couldn't escape. She glanced at the clock again. Shit. She better get going.

She dashed out of her door and walked briskly toward the pizza parlor. It was around a 15 minute walk, but she managed to make it there in 10. She opened the familiar door and glanced around.

_'Holy mother...'_

All five of the Teen Titans were seated around Terra and Beast Boy's usual table.

"Hey, Terra! Over here!" the changeling called.


End file.
